Damn serious

I was just browsing some other blogs on Blogger. Some people really take this stuff seriously. WOW, political views, religion, family, death, etc...etc... I was like OMG. A lot of people from different countries and different backgrounds and ways of living. It really is diverse...the world in general. So far everyone has a passion about something or another. It's nice to see some intelligence out there.

But seriously now...anyone want some spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner?

WHY?

Today has been such a boring day. Not much to do at work but surf the net, play Pop and drop, and hope the phone would ring. Sometimes it's just terrible. Is it 4 yet?

nutting...

I have nothing to say today so far so I thought it would be good to mention that my mind is completely blank. So in light of this I will give you a definition of a mental disorder...READY?

Coprophagia: psychiatric illness of eating your own feces.

LOL...I hope you weren't eating.

YUMMY! Anyone up for a Snickers bar?

TV

The Tick...ever seen it? No? You haven't? You're lucky. Big blue guy from outer space with 'my sidekick, Aurthur'...but his antennae are cool!!

Bullrun is interesting and stupid at the same time...kill two birds with one stone.

OZ just freaks me out, makes me have bad dreams, and is completely horrid at times...but the male frontal nudity makes up for it.

Deadwood...what can I say. I've never understood a word any character says except for cocksucker, prick, and whore.

Idol is getting sorry but how can you resist the bashing between the retard Ryan and the grump Simon, and the drunk Paula, and Randy...what is his purpose?

What can I say more than...I miss the Gilmore Girls already.

Smallville needed to pick it up this season. And even though the season sucked...the finale was jam packed!

Tyra Banks...ROCKS! The models...not so much. I'm happy that Jaslene won representing us Latinas out there but she's a bit ghetto.

HOUSE! HOUSE!...who wants to punch Cameron in the face? Anyone? huh? huh?

UFC...kick'em when they are down...YEAH! that's the ticket. Oh wait, that's not allowed in the rules...shit, MY BAD!

I used to like boats and ships until I started watching Deadliest Catch...It's cool...I love crab, but I love Mike Rowe's voice better...woohoo!!

American Chopper...who?

And when does NipTuck ever start again?

Idiots

Now writing about traffic and the idiot drivers out in Vegas isn't my style...I'll leave that to Kris. However I just have to say that BMW drivers have small dicks. If I can maneuver my 7 year old Honda CRV* (which needs an oil change) better than your stupid BMW...you SUCK! Why is that? Get off the stupid HWY...it's not made for "OMG, please watch out, my paint job!"

UGH....IDIOTS!!

*I can drive man!

VOSS...

Ever heard of Voss...Kris was all excited.

Kris: 'water from Norway'

Me: 'really?'

Kris: 'yeah, taste better too'

Me: 'yeah right'

Kris: 'probably bottled somewhere else'

Me: 'ok'

Pause

Me: 'how much?'

Kris: 'but at least it looks cool'

Me: 'WTF?'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO STEVEN!! 9 YEARS OLD TODAY.

After effects...

of home improvements are...soreness, tired, full of paint, breathing problems, messy house, delivery food, lots of beer, headaches, calluses, paint fumes, and nightmares of not finding anything at Lowe's.

Home Improvements

According to my lovely fiance...one of the most stressful things for a couple to go through is home improvements. This weekend we tackled the boys room.* The previous owners painted it blue...and not sky blue but freaking blue. I wish I would have taken a picture of it...I think I have one but oh well. This is as close to it as I can get. Anyhow, I came up with the idea of "Hey, lets paint the boys room, rip up the rug and put flooring and lets do it this weekend." Kris agreed surprisingly and we got too it. The first task was to move all the stuff out of the room. DAMN!! The boys don't stay with us much now but they sure have a lot of freaking stuff. So much stuff it took over the living room and family room. Once it was all out...we ripped off the rug. Which was totally cool because I've never done such stuff before. I mean I've put up shelves and fixed draws but that about it. The funny thing is that Kris trusted me to use a box cutter for the rug and not myself. For a second I started cutting the rug from the top. I got smart 5 minutes after I started...turning the rug over and cutting it. I love destruction. It wasn't as dusty as I thought...not too bad. The rug ripping went pretty fast. Then it was figuring out that the flooring would be best to buy at Costco. We have gotten all gun hoe and are planning on doing three rooms in the house. Lets see. Anyhow Kris bought enough for the kids room and I bought the paint and stuff. Kris tackled the blue with his paint sprayer...the primer was gray and basically all night we were thinking it needed more primer because the blue kept creeping through. But the next morning we noticed that it was pretty covered...and we were off to Lowe's for more stuff. The ceiling was the toughest part because I wanted it brilliant white. He started off painting it...but I took that pressure off of him. LOL. The painting went pretty good. And I must say that I taped up the room pretty good. I would post a picture but I didn't take any. I picked a strawberry malt with some other sort of brown. Kris says it was pink...but it dried tan. I can't wait to do the trim and door in the high gloss enamel. The room is going to look awesome. I guess home improvements aren't going to make or break us...so one less thing to tackle.

*yes the hoiday weekend, no BBQ for us.

state workers and 1 engineer...

A while back...several weeks ago...we met Haze and Bruce at the Drop Bar in Green Valley. I was full of dinner because we ate at Metro Pizza...YUM! I had soup and some sorta pizza that I don't recall but I'm sure Kris has the receipt some where if you really wanna know what I ate. Anyhow, Haze called up to see what we were up to...since not much was going on we planned on hanging out. They were going to hit the Cheesecake Factory at the District...and we had just started our dinner, so no problem. A couple of minutes later she called to tell me that the CF was "way crowded" and that they were just going "straight to the bar" so cool.

Anyhow, we get there...pretty dang early I should say (around 9pm) but it's okay because actually plenty of room and seats to chose from. Besides the fact that we are starting to get old and decrepit. The bar is cool. I've never been there so Imma all excited about the TV's in the corner. Which I should have taken a pictures of...but oh well. Stupid me to tell Kris that I'd pay for drinks since he had paid for dinner...lol. He's lucky. Anyhow, the waitress is a foreigner with a heavy accent...I'm sure Kris had a hard time decoding what the lady said over the loud music. I open a tab and order my usually of Sex on the Beach, forgetting that my new like is an Alabama Slammer. So YAY for Bruce at this time he had just gotten the all great State job...but at the time he still wasn't sure what it was. He got the name though. I'm sure now he has a clearer concept....yeah right!! Haze has some strawberry thing (martini I think) Bruce drinks all different stuff so I don't really keep track, and the ever designated driver orders a beer. Which makes him do anything I say and listen when I say to so something sexy. As you can see in the picture he listens very well, don't he? In the meantime...We are all checking out the videos playing on the very cool flat screens...NOT! Some scary shit plays...and some very old school music pops on...HEE!! Which starts off the conversation of 'rad' 'awesome' 'sweeeet' 'groovy' 'neato' and 'cool beans.' Bruce is all like "Hey those were cool when I was young." The funky waitress comes back in her white skin tight outfit...which Kris is far to interested in.* Not that I'm the jealous type...but dang. LMAO. Anyhow, Bruce and the skinny minnie waitress get into a conversation over orange flavored vodka and Red Bull...It was all really confusing and stuff but he manages to get some sort of drink...then after all the crazy conversation...the silence. I decide to whip out my camera and test it out in the low light...which, by the pictures, they come out pretty good. Best present EVER!! Well, tied with my new foot spa. Anyhow...I decide to ask Haze on to strike a sexy pose and she does this..DANG GIRL! I should start drinking those strawberry things!! LOL. But I finally remembered to order my Alabama Slammer...I think the waitress got it right because I was sweating my ass off in that place. By the end of the night, which is about 11:00pm...GOD that is pathetic!!...We start to tire of the loud 80's music and the crowd. And we head home looking gracious and lovely as ever. Rosy cheeks full of blood and liquor. Thank goodness my honey was driving!! Because everything by then was looking mostly like this...

*mockingly so

UPDATE!

The Closet Monsters did not take my Capri pants. The pants were actually in my backpack when I stayed at mom's house...lol. MY BAD! So, I apologize to the Closet Monsters!! Well, I will, as soon as they return my red shirt, damn it!!

Foot Spa & Epsom Salt!!

Yes, my honey bought me the most awesome foot spa...like ever!! I've never had one so Imma gonna use it soon!! It came with the fake sea grass to massage my feet with and several little attachments for a foot thingy...I forget what it's called. And it has this gel filled cushion to rest my foot on for when I decide it's time to paint my toe nails. And it makes bubbles and keeps the water warm. WOOHOO! You know you want one. I know you all are jealous!!*

The funny thing is that he also bought some Epsom Salt to go with it. After both of us reading the directions for the spa, we decided it best not to use the salt since it didn't mention anything about it. Then I decided I should read the Epsom directions that are on the carton. Did you know that Epsom Salt is eatable? Something about mixing it with water (and lemon to make it taste good)** and drinking it to stop stomach irritation...or whatever. I can't really recall because I was in shock when Kris decided he wanted to taste the salt crystals...which isn't really salt. I mean, how bad can it be, right? I told him to go ahead and try it...lol. I wish I could tell you that it went okay, but...he made this face of horror and had to rinse out his mouth. It was so funny, I had to try it too, like a dumb ass. It tasted like metal...duh...

NOTE TO SELF: Don't eat the magnesium sulfate without the lemon and water.

*example of Yoda speech.
**foreshadowing

Ex-boyfriends...haunt you

Men, they always try to come back. Why? Apparently being a bitch attracts men. Please, for goodness sake, lose my number!! Life is currently solidified for me and will be even more pretty soon. Get a life!! Honestly, it must be something in my WTF voice that keeps them calling? Dude, stop jerking off to my pic...it's creepy and crawly and totally disgusting. And no, I don't wanna talk, see, or hear it either. Anyone else have this stupid issue? I feel so blessed...NOT!* Mom always has said "kill'em with kindness." Maybe she's right? I really don't want to be responsible for a death...

Honestly, it's actually comic.** I find strange things entertaining.

*I'm old school...get over it!
** OMG, I sound like my honey.

My biggest pet peeve is...

Hypocrisy: the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion. Hypocrite: one who affects virtues or qualities he does not have.

Not that I am perfect, God knows that I'm not, but I have a tendency to stick with 'what you see is what you get.' I have told a lie here and there throughout my life...who hasn't? But to claim to be someone you aren't isn't my style.

I tire, quickly...

AAAHHHH!!! Closet Monsters!

Close your closet doors at night boys and girls!! The Closet Monsters are at it again. No, seriously, I'm not kidding. They come out at night from your closet and during the day they feed on your clothes and like moths burrowing holes in them. How do I know they exist? Well just ask my one time worn shirt and how the heck it got a hole in it the size of Mars!?! Closet Monsters I say! Creepy scary things lurk in the closet. Things, creatures that steal your red shirts and disappear your tan capri pants. They must have a pact with the Goodwill or something. And the hangers? What do they do with the hangers? They overlap the hangers in the closet and stick them inside each other so that when you want one shirt you get 3 and 4 fall on the floor. And one of them...because there are several kinds of Closet Monsters...comes in and makes a shoelace longer than the other one. One night all the sweaters on the top shelf looked like the Tower of Pisa. Apparently they are artistic suckers.

Now, I know you don't belive me, but they are there...lurking...in the closet.

Just ask the Clothes Dryer Sock Eater Monster.*

*but we named him Ralph

Work & Pranks

Yesterday I asked Lyvonne if we could play a prank on poor Evelyn. She's been using State envelops to leave me money for the chocolate fundraiser from school and I thought it would be pretty good prank for her to receive a letter from the HR dept re: State property for personal use. Apparently Lyvonne didn't think it was drastic enough so we came up with transferring two cubicles. Now, you must know that Evelyn shares an office with Lisa...and the rest of us have cubes. At approximately 4:04 pm,* we decided to switch Michelene's stuff with Evelyn's. Michelene was all up for it and we all pitched in.

This morning Evelyn comes in and turns gray over the fact that she was moved out into the pee-on's area. She almost strokes over it and so we had to let her in on the joke too soon in my opinion.

Ok, ok...it isn't that funny but still notable.

*after state time for me

Retrojunk

No, really...what I said. Retrojunk: http://www.retrojunk.com/

OMG. I love this thing. LOOK...the Thundercat guy!! I'm in retro heaven. WOOHOO!!

You're Mexican, right?

Now, don't get me wrong...I don't have anything against my fellow Hispanics, really I don't, but I'm just not Mexican. Actually, if you were to ask me my ethnicity I would say Cuban and Puerto Rican. Cuban for my father, PR for my mother. However, at 21 I found out that my parents adopted me and so I'm 100% PR. I know, I know...it's getting confusing but no one said reading this and understanding me was going to be easy.* So some might say...OMG you are just American. Yeah, sure I live here but most Hispanics would say their country of origin rather than the country they are living in. It's this whole big entire mystery thing...you have to be Latin to understand it. Where was I? Oh, yeah....Well, we've just established the fact that I'm 100% blood PR, right? I was raised by my PR mother, my Cuban father, Cuban grandmother, and my Cuban aunt. You know were this is headed right? I consider myself more Cuban than anything...lol. Which is a trip because it confuses me sometimes too. So I kinda speak Cuban dialect, cook more Cuban food...etc. You get my point.

Most don't know that Spanish was my first language...It can be frustrating at times...I say things backwards** or forget the English word. I guess crossword puzzles are like Cliffs Notes of the English language. But this should be a whole post by itself.

Either way...I still like Mexican food too.

*Ask Kris.
**Which we have named Yoda speech

Mood Week...

Kris's favorite week of the month. Seriously it is, honestly it isn't. I don't recall my mood week being so harsh before the birth control patch.* Anyhow, I don't think it's really all that bad. Or maybe it is bad especially when I can tell my moods switching from left to right and up and down. Besides the fact that I'm an emotional person already...rocky emotions is not what I need.

Recently I've tried to control them with no avail. The emotions take over like some strange evil spirit has control over me. Like the woman on Heroes with her evil sister Jessica...anyhow I'm getting off the subject. One of the worst things is that I end up laughing and crying at the same time. It happens more in the evenings than during the day. Poor Kris, he usually doesn't know what to do when this happens. It's nice when he hugs me during my laugh/cry fit...makes him laugh too. I guess I would be like WTF? too.

PMS=putting up with men's shit. LOL. What if you don't have a man? Who do you blame it on then?

*I can't wait to take it off.

IT

IT...no silly persons, IT as in the book IT, by Stephen King.

Have you read it? I did. Once. That's all I needed. It was scary as hell!! Assuming that I know what hell is like...lol. Anyhow, it has this nasty, ugly, vicious, clown...yup, clown.

You would think that clowns are cute, funny, entertaining and the like but you see that's their cover...they make you think they are cute, funny, nice when they say a joke or hand you some balloons. Let me tell you they are far from that. These sinister clowns have a mission. A mission to destroy all that you think is normal. They dress up in these hiddious costumes and make ugly mared faces. They attempt to grab at children all in the attempts of fun.

Once I was tortured by one. Well not really tortured. He pulled me into a gangbang of clowns and made me participate in there show (if you call it a show). Laughing in my face and trying to make me do all the idiotic acts they pull. I didn't think it was funny and screaming at the top of my lungs to no end was enough that they let me go back to my seat. Now I have this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coulrophobia

YUP...Coulrophobia. Fear of clowns. Now as an adult, it really sucks. I was standing in line to see a show when the stupid clown decided to pick on me. Why? Fuck do I know...I was just standing there. He said...'you don't like clowns?' and I said 'no, I don't, please leave.' Of course he didn't and I had to get Latin on his ass. Then he left me alone.

It's like I have a sign on my head...I DON'T LIKE CLOWNS PICK ME!! WTF?

I feel like stepping on there big shoes, punching them in the red plastic nose, and pulling off there rainbow hair.* But...I LIKE THE CIRCUS. go figure.

*I did that to my ex-husband when he thought it would be funny to scare the shit out of me and dressed up like a clown.

Tribute to Dad

8/19/02

Dad: I know you are scared.
Me: Yes, very...what will happen? This is terminal. We have little time.
Dad: I will be strong. You need to be strong.
Me: What if I can't be?
Dad: For me you will. Promise that you will be the only one not to cry for me when I die, Sandra, promise me this one thing.
Me: That is a lot to ask Dad, that is so much to ask of me.

Pause

Me: I promise, I promise not to cry Dad.
Dad: Thank you, I'll always love you and those boys.
Me: I'll always love you too, and I will keep you alive for them.
Dad: Thank you.

Typical day at work

Haze: Dang agencies suck, dude.

Me: What'd they do now, dude?

Haze: Sent the billing in wrong, dude.

Me: Yeah, I hear you. It sucks, man.

PAUSE

Me: Llama song day, dude?

Haze: Yeah, LLAMA, dude!

Me: Hold on I gotta load it....

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

Haze: HEE LLAMA!

RULES!!

I was thinking about what to write today and I was bombarded by my brain with different thoughts, which usually happen on a daily basis...so be aware that I may post several times a day if I can depending on what I'm doing at the moment. The more realistic is to explain some rules about my new found hobby...lol. Kris said I needed a hobby and since I like to talk this is a good one for now. I have a habit of going on tangents...anyone who knows me well knows that.

Anyhow, RULES...Rules would be good because they will help you (the reader) understand me and how my blog will work. They won't be many because I am not one to form rules...they kinda happen as life goes on. So you may see another post RULES1 (yes RULES1 not RULES2 because that's just me). So here they are:

1. No discussing my blog outside of the blog. If you see something wrong, offensive, and totally bad...please just comment or send me a private email.

2. There will be time when I curse. If you are offended by my usage of words and still want to read please jump over them. If you decide not to read it then don't.

3. The * will mean 'side story'...not a spelling mistake. All * 'side stories' will be placed at the bottom of the posts as references.

4. If you decide to leave a comment, please remember that others will be reading them and be mindful of others. Watch what you say. (that's the social worker in me).

5. Abbreviations will probably be use: LOL, OMG, WTF, JK, etc...If you aren't used to them...please don't ask me what it means you can look them up here: http://techdictionary.com/chat.html.

6. Do not get offended if I do not answer your comments or emails right away. This blog is for me not you.

Okay, that's about it. It's pretty clear right? Any questions?

HA!

I think I got the hang of this blog thing now. Took me all but most of the day. I'm a pretty fast learner, especially when I had to list all my links again when I didn't save it. They should have an automatic save just for people like me. Of course, I won't really link all the sites that I like on here because...man, it's too many of them. But those are some of my favorites to visit daily.

Anyone watching Idol tonight? Imma going for Melinda or Jordan. Why'd Jordan sing that same song again? Strange. Blake I don't mind, really I don't, but don't we all have enough white boys around?

I'm working on it

Give me a break...I'm used to pen and paper. Actually I started this thing because I think it might help me reduce all the stress I have. Which isn't really stress...because I'm not a stressful person...but for lack of a better word at this moment, stress it is.

ps. I like lotsm ellipsis.