Merry Christmas

I know that it's a few days after x-mas. I hope that everyone had a merry one!!

Dedication...

to a special friend...

KG this is for you.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TfIpWd_0e6M

Lessons Learned

1. We had a nice little weekend. Mom tricked us into volunteering at the boys Christmas Craft thingy at school. Anyhow it was fun. The kids made a bunch of little crafts that are just going to collect dust and take up more space in the house. Overall worth it.

lesson learned: never let Kris have the hot glue gun, time, and my car keys.

2. Saturday we mailed back the computer I got for my mom for x-mas. God knows I hope they send one that works.

lesson learned: HP Asia sucks

3. Saturday evening we went to mom's house to help with the x-mas tree. Kevin's little girlfriend came over for a "play date". Isn't it a bit to early in age to be dating? LOL. Kris over peppered dinner. But it was fun time anyhow. Mom was grateful for the help in the end. I think Kris was a bit overwhelmed by how much stuff we have for a dang tree. This years tree is 9 feet tall. A new one I wasn't really excited about but it has lights on it already so it's not too bad. Overall it came out nice...pink, green, and ecru for this year.

lesson learned: don't forget where you put the hooks for the ornaments yearly.

4. Sunday I cleaned several rooms and did laundry. I was all excited about cleaning the kitchen until about 1030 when football started. I did however finish all the laundry just about. Hit the computer room and never moved only when I had to pee or eat. Several wine coolers and beers later...back flip courtesy of Kris.

lesson learned: Smirnoff only lets you enter 3 bottle caps a day...stupid.

5. Monday morning, I really didn't want to get up today even though I went to bed at 9 last night. But here I am at work.

lesson learned: Drink on Saturdays.

lost dog

Almost lost my poor pup last night. Stupid gate. I should really start checking that kinda stuff.

PH

I'm still debating what Planet Hollywood Casino has in mind as a crowd. I guess it's a 30 trying to be 20 kinda place with horrible lighting, long ass walk to the parking garage, annoying selling people, elevator wind tunnels, cheesy bar dancers, overpriced breakfasts, and several types of music at once...

But worth it.

There are things...

things in The Mist.

Ok, so I'm not one for scary movies. Trust Me. I have to say that after finding the theater, waiting 40 minutes for it to start, over buttered popcorn, blinding bathroom walls, and hard seats...it was a good movie.

Plus, the aisle between the rows were big enough not to have some one's ass in your face as they moved through.

But doubt that we'll visit that theater again anytime soon.

Move...

Pat: "Who uses the typewriter?"
Me: "I don't but Lisa does."
Pat: "Why doesn't she use the computer for that?"
Me: "I don't know, ask Lisa." "I think she still has labels that need to be typed on."

...look of confusion

Pat: "So who uses it?"
Me: "Lisa uses it."
Pat: "For what?"
Me: "For labels that she has that need to be typed on."
Pat: "Why not print them?"
Me: "I don't know, ask Lisa."

...another look of confusion

Pat: "It's going to the new building."
Me: "I don't know." "Ask Lyvonne."
Pat: "We don't know where to put it."
Me: "I don't really care." "I don't use it, Lisa does."

...hence look of confusion

...ring of telephone.

I love being saved by the bell.

House of Mad

In order of appearance: Joshua, Russell, Cali Cat, Pichan, and Ralph

Russell & others

Several months ago I wrote about Joshua. My dog. He lives with mom. But he's kinda mine. It's a long story. I'd give you the cliff notes about it but even that would be long. Anyhow, at our house we have 3 cats. Pichan- Kris's pampered cat, Cali- the loner, and Ralph- who was suppose to be my kitten but has since transferred his affection toward Kris. Maybe cats just don't like me. I had my own cat named Jasmine several years ago. I had to give her up though. Anyhow, I decided that I needed my own pet. Even though I have 4... So I bought Russell. Good little pup. He's about 5 months old now. The baby of the bunch but growing daily. He's a Sheltie. Yes, like Lassie. Did you know that Lassie was a Sheltie not a Collie?...big confusion there. Anyhow I would post a picture but I don't have one at this current moment. My entire thing for putting this up here is that finally I have a pet of my own. LOL. He's surely a mamma's boy. Josh is staying with us for a couple of days... and they are getting to know each other. So much that they want to play at 330 in the morning. GREAT! Between me, Kris, the cats, and the dogs...we are one household of madness. Go ahead and laugh, it's okay.

Honeymoon

Kris decided to drive me up the west coast of the US. I was a bit doubtful at first because I wanted to go somewhere warm and with palm trees and fly to it. But I was willing to part with the warm heat and hit the pavement on a road trip with my honey bunny. Anyhow our trip started through Death Valley which was interesting. And then into a little town called Lee Vining. We ate at a little diner there. We both had a Heineken Dark, anyone know were to get that beer in Vegas? Then, we hit Lake Tahoe (which is beautiful). I won't tell you how Kris tried to kill off his new wife by driving up grades with steep-ass mountains and roads that no one in their right mind drives. Lots of white people in Lake Tahoe. Like they took over the entire little area we were in. But strange rich white people. With nothing better to do with their money and time. Emerald bay is beautiful...but people please take hiking boots and loose some weight before you start climbing up and down. My lungs weren't very happy with me. Then it was a quick drive through some little cities...and we stayed in Reno for a bit. Kris likes Reno...lots. Which is funny because he's not really good at navigating little towns with one way streets. Anyhow...the big part of our trip was San Francisco. It was lovely. Beaches, Bridges, Boats, Barts, Buses...and some other stuff. Not to mention the stupid seagull that attacked my churro but hit my head instead. But it was a wonderful time. Two weeks long. And I didn't do any driving. Thank you honey! You're the best ever!

If you would want to see pictures please go to www.latincrackerduo.shutterfly.com

9/29/07

Wedding month: Lots of things happened in our wedding month. I'd say that we were chickens without any heads running around. Shoot, I always get those sayings wrong. Besides all the running around we did, things came out beautiful. Here's a complete link to all of our pictures www.latincrackerduo.shutterfly.com

Now Kris has to remember 2 dates. Do you think he can do it?

August 2007

With a month away from our wedding I was busy getting everything in last minute order. Now I know what you all think..."what is so hard about planning a wedding?" Well, I'll have to say that EVERYTHING is hard about planning a wedding. With mamma drama, and pappa drama, and every other drama you could expect happening...it's actually very stressing. So during August I wasn't in the mood to write or discuss anything about the wedding. However things were settled and made right...

So...

It's been a long time since I typed anything on this blog. I guess they are correct in saying that more than half the blogs out on the net don't ever get used. Anyhow, Sandy has been bugging me to write something....Let's see where I have to leave off.

Can't take the heat...

get out of the kitchen.

Well that's what they say huh?

Some people live there lives hidden and in their own little world, which makes them feel like SUPERCHICKEN...

But when it really comes down to it...and they are really confronted with that of reality which isn't from there own world they become

CHICKEN SHIT...

HELLO KITTY!!

Now most of you that really know me know that I love Strawberry Shortcake but what most of you don't know is my secret love for Hello Kitty. HK for short. HK everything...now I'm not a big overall fanatic that needs it everyday but I do have bi-polar mood swings that draw me to HK. Especially when I hit the mall (which isn't so often).

Oh, come on, you secretly love it too!!

Now, now admit it.

Coffee anyone?

Now after a long night at the airport...and a short sleep from 3-6 am...the best is when your buddy calls you up at 715 before work and asks to get you a coffee. But, not just any coffee...Starbucks you said?...NOPE WRONG...it's the regular ice coffee from good old Micky D's!! Vanilla iced coffee with two Splendas...OMG. It's a joy and perks you up completely. Now my body is still tired and my brain is still a bit soggy...but I'm awake! GO RONALD YOU ROCK MAN!!

airports...

SUCK!!
-but the people watching is a BLAST!!! Met this awesomely gay man, looking for his obvious gay brother...UGH! He was a trip though. He didn't check the Continental website to make sure that the plane was late. Notice I said make sure it is late because Continental is always late especially coming in from Newark EWR Liberty airport. Mom was to get here at 10pm ended up being 1245 am this morning...WOOHOO. Anyhow there was this strange pick up guy with the name Noseworthy on the front. I expected some Jewish man to arrive with this huge schnozzle...in a suite. To my disappointment it wasn't and I was completely bummed out. So I had to concentrate my efforts elsewhere...I found another pick up guy that looked like Mr. Clean and the Green Giant all in one. I wish he had a piece of broccoli and a mop...but he didn't so I was bummed again. There was this one lady about 6 feet tall dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. No bra and her torpedo breasts where completely on edge...she continued to pace up and down the baggage claim screaming that her people were an hour late...OMG...let's all fall down and die. I mean my mother is 2 hours late WTF LADY! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!! Anyhow, people have no patience. The funny thing is that she was screaming at all the pick up guys like if they own the Continental airplanes. Next was the odd couple. A short white lady with the darkest features I've ever seen...holding hands with the 6'7" white dude with red hair filled with freckles...even to his balls I would bet money on it....UGH. Anyhow lots of people. The best was when my people showed up...I was happy to see them all...I was more happy to leave the jingle jangle of McCarren airport...then my mother says "so, I have 6 suitcases, ok."...KILL JOY

FUEGO! FUEGO!

4th of July in Jersey...it was raining and my poor sons got to watch the fireworks on TV...

Over here in the desert...it was 112 degrees and the fireworks that Kris started to light turned into a fire show.

I sat on the hot sidewalk in my PJ's and watched Kris's fire marvel. It was very romantically pathetic...

I loved it.

Joshua

He's my dog. I almost lost him this week. Didn't check to make sure the gate to the yard was closed. I felt horrible. I went out to get him and he didn't come running. Hard to express the feeling of horror when I saw the gate open. My poor dog... Hard to express the feeling over joy and relief when I saw him running toward me...gotta love that!! Yes he is whiny, licky, stupid, hyper and a bit buck toothed...but come on, you gotta love him!

DRESS!

My dress is in...I tried it on...it's beautiful...now when's the wedding again?

NJ and cemeteries

I'm from NJ...yes New Jersey...and no please don't say it the way you think I say it, it's embarrassing. Anyhow, I sent my mother and my sons to NJ for 3 weeks!! Amazing. I had to jiggle some finances to finance the trip. I wish I could have gone and attended my friends wedding but sometimes things aren't attainable. My mother hasn't really called me much, she's busy visiting places and people and things. I called her the other day and she sounded happy...back in the old neighborhood, at the beach, in seaside, at Great Adventure, on Bergenline Ave...shopping and such. She's taken the boys even to see their great-grandparents which is cool. It really had an impact on them because they saw their own last name on the stones and graves. My mom wanted to take a picture of them in the cemetery...I know, I know...it's creepy, but you have to know my mother...thankfully my boys have more than half my genes and declined the picture taking cemetery moment...lol. I'm glad to see that they are able to realize that a cemetery is not a joyful place for a picture. That made me happy. I sometimes miss NJ. Most of my family lives out there still. We keep in touch but sometimes it's not the same.

The pink book

So for those of you who are women and like to read...Kris and I hit the mall on Sunday because I just wanted some time with him...anyhow we went to the bookstore which we usually hit together...the most in common we have is liking to read. However the tastes in books are completely different...like you couldn't guess. Anyhow I was browsing the fiction mystery section while he was in the Sci-fi stuff...and I was attracted by the pink cover and the funky title. OMG, a book written by a woman...but who cares right? By the look of it, it is surely written for women and reads like it too. The picture is one of the first novels by Kyra Davis. Really cool so far to read. I also went ahead and bought the one other book they had of hers which happens to be the second in a series. She has one other novel...and one of the series coming out in late August or something. So just for the heck of it...because I like to read and mostly wouldn't recommend any books to people unless they are over the top...and so far this is great and I'm only on chapter six. Funny about the pink cover...because if you know me at all I really don't like pink.

So...

I really like this CD. Anyhow this morning I came to work still feeling like shit on the sidewalk. And my freaking monitor wouldn't work. So IT gave me another one...a big one but I can't get too spoiled because my regular mini monitor should be here by tomorrow...LOL. Yeah, right. And if you worked for the state you would understand. I really like this big monitor!! Makes me at least sorta happy today even though I feel like crap! I get to try on my wedding dress today...woo fuckin hoo. I'm all bloated and floating away on my period. Hopefully it will fit. Can't you see how happy I am? YEA! Sometimes I wish I was a dog.

CD's

On a positive note...I finally bought that Hinder CD. LOL. And that Plain White T's song too...Have ya heard it?....cool stuff man. I wish I had talent.

Up Up and....down.

It's been a busy week or two. I haven't had the energy nor the time to write something intelligent. Today I have a fever which started off with a severe sore throat. Anyhow...Several things to note...I got my dress in. YAY. That's a good thing. I was to try it on this past Tuesday but this cold stopped me. And I have to tell you that I was excited and depressed at the same time. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with someone...and not just anyone. But recently it seems that it isn't attainable yet. And here we stand 3 months away...with creepy crawly stuff in our heads. They shouldn't be there huh? To note that I've been going through changes. When you live with someone you notice things that you wouldn't have noticed before. It's hard to blend two people from two totally ways of living. But don't people do that daily? Don't we all meld together at some point? Whether it be at work or play or love? Even criminals come together and make a team. And conflict will always arise within a team. Each person has their own strengths and weaknesses. Life should be simple and it is usually not. The progress we make comes from conflicts and understanding each other. Love isn't enough at times. Learning how to deal with others is an important way of life. Even though it will be difficult...the pro's sometimes out weigh the con's. Don't they?...

'I love you'...wait, what?

Most think that finding love is the greatest thing that can happen to us. You fall in love with someone. It's great and beautiful and you think this is it this is the one for me. Love is supposed to be filling and everything good in life. But it's a cover...it's a devil in a disguise. Love cheats you and bit by bit we break over time the one we love with mistrust, anger, misunderstandings, and the inability to give and take. It's hard to give yourself to another. But what happens when you can no longer give? What happens when love looses it's disguise. What are you left with. You wanna believe that person loves you as you love them. We all love differently. We continue to love because we think one day it will not be a joke...that cover will not be there and love will be pure and honest. Love is free but that's part of the cover. Love comes with a lot of strings that you can't see. It needs constant understanding and devotion and work. Love is fragile and can be broken quickly or piece-by-piece. Love is the hardest thing to maintain. Still we go after it knowing that it can hurt. It's difficult to forgive and love again after that hurt. Sometimes we just go on...we should just go on.........................

Random Facts...

...you may not know about me or may know.

1. When I was two, I was severely pigeon toed...so the doctor told my parents to put me in Ballet...I danced until I was 18.

2. Imma crossword junkie...easy ones of course.

3. English is my second language.

4. I have several pads full of poems written by me.

5. I played the piano for 7 years until my teacher (aunt) passed away.

6. I quit cheerleading for a boy in HS.

7. Love dolphins...hence the tattoo.

8. I can't stand meetings or trainings.

9. I was a B/C student in school and had perfect attendance all 4 years of HS.

10. For a 9 1/2 year run, I never got sick...not even a cough.

11. I haven't had a hiccup since I was 13.

12. Never been stung by a bee...ever never...

13. I've never had a broken bone nor a dislocated one.

14. When I was in grammar school I won several swimming competitions.

15. I've only loved 4 men...one is my father.

16. Love jewelery...I could wear one ring on each finger...have that many.

17. I am allergic to anything hypoallergenic...including Ivory...bad rash.

18. Animal lover...at one point I had 15 birds, 7 fish, 1 cat and 2 dogs.

19. Love to read...except for non-fiction books.

20. My sons and I all have the same blood type A-.

21. I have a very very high tolerance for pain medication. I need about 5 Tylenol before it even helps.

22. Imma 100% PR.

23. My middle name is Lanette...named after the french nurse that delivered me.

24. My father and I had a secret handshake...and no I am not showing you.

25. I hoard...I admit I am a bathroom hoard...I need bathroom AA.

They got jokes!

Steve & Kev told me some jokes today...my sons are cute!!

Steve: What do you call a fish with two knees?
Me: Dunno, what do you call it?
Steve: A twokneefish...

Kev: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
Me: Dunno, what did one ocean say to another ocean?
Kev: Nothing, they waved.

Steve: Why don't seaguls live by the bay?
Me: Dunno, why don't seaguls live by the bay?
Steve: Because then they would be called Baygels...

ROFLMAO

lost...loving....feeling.....

Artist: The Righteous Brothers
Song: You've Lost That Loving Feeling

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.

And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips.

You're trying hard not to show it, (baby).

But baby, baby I know it...

You've lost that lovin' feeling,

Whoa, that lovin' feeling,

You've lost that lovin' feeling,

Now it's gone...gone...gone...wooooooh.

Now there's no welcome look in your eyes when I reach for you.

And now your're starting to critisize little things I do.

It makes me just feel like crying, (baby).

'Cause baby, something in you is dying.

You lost that lovin' feeling,

Whoa, that lovin' feeling,

You've lost that lovin' feeling,

Now it's gone...gone...gone...woooooah

Baby, baby, I get down on my knees for you.

If you would only love me like you used to do, yeah.

We had a love...a love...a love you don't find everyday.

So don't...don't...don't...don't let it slip away.

Baby (baby), baby (baby),

I beg of you please...please,

I need your love (I need your love), I need your love (I need your love),

So bring it on back (So bring it on back),

Bring it on back (so bring it on back).

Bring back that lovin' feeling,

Whoa, that lovin' feeling

Bring back that lovin' feeling,

'Cause it's gone...gone...gone,

and I can't go on,noooo...

Oh, come on you know the words...

TV1

So, here's my list of retarded shows for summer viewing:

So you think you can DANCE...Some of the dancers are pretty awesome and some are strange/unique.
Hell's Kitchen...food, yelling, bashing, crying, tension. Come on it's groovy!
America's got talent...David Hasselhoff...That's all I have to say, LOL.
*
WOOHOO! Aren't they GREAT?...ok, not really.

*I think I'm forgetting one.

Typical Evelyn

E: 'Jlo, something is wrong with my computer.'

Me: 'Whatcha break now?'

E: 'Dunno, it says to press F1'
Me: 'So did you press it?'

Pause

E: 'Yeah, I pressed the F and a 1.'

Me: 'Good Lord, Evelyn.'

E: 'What?'

The French Open

I'm not much for tennis. Kris and I tried playing but we can never seem to keep the ball from going over the fence. Anyhow, the sport is hard and I don't know all the rules but it was Sunday early afternoon and nothing else was happening but the French Open.* Two ladies were playing tennis. I've never heard of them of course but it was fun to watch. LOL. But people are right. If you close your eyes to women's tennis it sounds like a porno. Lotsm grunts, moans, and YEAHs! I watched the entire thing...and the American won, which was cool. Then came the men's tennis...and the only thing I have to say is...who cannot love Roger Federer?

I should watch tennis more often...

*and since ATL Braves sucks I don't have nothing else to see.

Alcohol and Vomit

Age old question: Can you die from choking on your own vomit? According to WDMHN* This is possible with excessive alcohol intake. Death from alcohol usually occurs from aspiration...breathing vomit into the lungs. Literally drowning in your own vomit. Sounds fun huh?

*Why Do Men Have Nipples?

Wedding Woes and smiles.

You are probably wondering how come I haven't written anything about the wedding. I know you are in shock. Totally shock. But honestly not much to write. Don't have my veil, don't have my dress, don't have my shoes, have my invites, have my bubbles, have my favors, and have other stuff. A wedding is a wedding. It's stressing and fun at the same time. Maybe when it is over I'll post some pics of Kris's car filled with balloons, trailing cans, and teddy bears...lol. He would kill me. The teddy bears are cute though. All I have to say that it's closer than you think. Less than four months now.

Men from Mars, Women from Venus

Just to clarify before I start...conversations that I post will be a short version of the true conversation...of the many conversations I have during the day because I like to talk...why do I talk so much you ask? No, not because I'm PR and from NJ...smart ass....because Imma from Venus. Kris and I decided to read this book. Mostly because we have trouble understanding each other at times. Anyhow he really brought it up first. I was kinda iffy about this book...well because it is written by a man. So I wasn't so sure that it would be equal to women. I sore it was going to be geared to favoring men. Surprisingly it doesn't. It has actually represented women fairly and honestly...well so far. I'm only up to chapter seven. I'm kinda glad that Kris brought this book up. I appreciate his willingness to learn and make us a better duo. The book has taught me a lot about men so far. Some stuff I knew and other things not. Sometimes the wording the PHD dude uses is funny to me...but I amuse easily. The other day I asked Kris if he had noticed some of the verbal changes in me...he said not really. Which was kinda disappointing in a way because it's hard to apply things you read at times. But it has worked so far...even though he didn't notice...because we haven't had a big misunderstanding since I've been reading. The book gives you some skills in understanding men and their strange ways...and gives you some insight into why women act the way they do. I was like...WOW! YEAH! That's exactly what I mean when I say that or do that. I used to give Kris the so called 'unsolicited advice' which apparently men really hate that...and started to just give him the tools for him to be able to make the decision without him feeling all mothered...of course with the end result benefiting me...LOL. Don't tell him that.

Past conversations would have been like this:

K: 'I have a headache'
Me: 'Why don't you take some Advil?'
K: 'No'

Now the difference is:

K: 'I have a headache'
Me: 'There is some Advil in the cabinet.'
K: 'Yeah I'll take some'

See...and you learn that men don't react to 'would' or 'should'...mostly just direct 'can' or 'do'

Previous

Me: 'Could you take out the garbage?'
K: 'I could.'

Now:

Me: 'Can you please take out the garbage?'
K: 'Okay.'

Don't be stumped or upset over their one word answers. They just don't talk as much as we do. 'Okay'...actually means 'yes, sure I will.' This is the kinda stuff the book explains. And funny enough it works. I could go on with more...but I suggest you get it for yourself if you have issues understanding your man and his ways.

Anyhow...my entire point is that this book has actually been a good thing...Now, we can get married in peace. LOL!

Yesterday...

Yesterday was utterly boring and uneventful. Work totally sucked! Which usually it doesn't. I don't know what happened. Strange. Anyhow I did cook my spaghetti but I didn't stop to buy the garlic bread. I should've. Funny thing is that even though I was craving spaghetti...it didn't satisfy me as I thought it would. I didn't eat anything else because not much to cook at this time at our house. Anyhow, I finished painting the trim...sorta, kinda, not really. PAINTING TAPE SUCKS ASS!! It got stuck everywhere and pulled half the paint off the dang walls. So, I decided to do the rest of the trim by hand. I must say I was proud of myself. Kris put together the table saw he had reason to buy. Thank goodness it has a guard and stuff because he can be a bit clumsy. I've decided not to clean the house until we are finished with this room. I guess I should have folded the laundry but I didn't. Finished watching Bullrun also and I have to say I liked it more than I really should...but I'm glad the Trans Am father/dtr duo won. CUTE! I told Kris we should do something like that...he kinda just looked at me all weird and shook his head. What? Oh well...no racing for me. I guess it's better to stay home and not try to win $200,000. Honestly though home is better than money...right? Right? HEE. Bullrun makes me hyper and I had to read some before we went to bed. I would tell you what I was reading...but that's another post. Like I said...uneventful.

X-Mas

Dunno why I thought about this...basically because strange things pop up in my head. For Christmas last year I bought Kris several gag gifts and one of them was this:

Oh, come on...it's funny. It took me a while to find that red thing and wrap up all the underwear one by one. HEE!

Damn serious

I was just browsing some other blogs on Blogger. Some people really take this stuff seriously. WOW, political views, religion, family, death, etc...etc... I was like OMG. A lot of people from different countries and different backgrounds and ways of living. It really is diverse...the world in general. So far everyone has a passion about something or another. It's nice to see some intelligence out there.

But seriously now...anyone want some spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner?

WHY?

Today has been such a boring day. Not much to do at work but surf the net, play Pop and drop, and hope the phone would ring. Sometimes it's just terrible. Is it 4 yet?

nutting...

I have nothing to say today so far so I thought it would be good to mention that my mind is completely blank. So in light of this I will give you a definition of a mental disorder...READY?

Coprophagia: psychiatric illness of eating your own feces.

LOL...I hope you weren't eating.

YUMMY! Anyone up for a Snickers bar?

TV

The Tick...ever seen it? No? You haven't? You're lucky. Big blue guy from outer space with 'my sidekick, Aurthur'...but his antennae are cool!!

Bullrun is interesting and stupid at the same time...kill two birds with one stone.

OZ just freaks me out, makes me have bad dreams, and is completely horrid at times...but the male frontal nudity makes up for it.

Deadwood...what can I say. I've never understood a word any character says except for cocksucker, prick, and whore.

Idol is getting sorry but how can you resist the bashing between the retard Ryan and the grump Simon, and the drunk Paula, and Randy...what is his purpose?

What can I say more than...I miss the Gilmore Girls already.

Smallville needed to pick it up this season. And even though the season sucked...the finale was jam packed!

Tyra Banks...ROCKS! The models...not so much. I'm happy that Jaslene won representing us Latinas out there but she's a bit ghetto.

HOUSE! HOUSE!...who wants to punch Cameron in the face? Anyone? huh? huh?

UFC...kick'em when they are down...YEAH! that's the ticket. Oh wait, that's not allowed in the rules...shit, MY BAD!

I used to like boats and ships until I started watching Deadliest Catch...It's cool...I love crab, but I love Mike Rowe's voice better...woohoo!!

American Chopper...who?

And when does NipTuck ever start again?

Idiots

Now writing about traffic and the idiot drivers out in Vegas isn't my style...I'll leave that to Kris. However I just have to say that BMW drivers have small dicks. If I can maneuver my 7 year old Honda CRV* (which needs an oil change) better than your stupid BMW...you SUCK! Why is that? Get off the stupid HWY...it's not made for "OMG, please watch out, my paint job!"

UGH....IDIOTS!!

*I can drive man!

VOSS...

Ever heard of Voss...Kris was all excited.

Kris: 'water from Norway'

Me: 'really?'

Kris: 'yeah, taste better too'

Me: 'yeah right'

Kris: 'probably bottled somewhere else'

Me: 'ok'

Pause

Me: 'how much?'

Kris: 'but at least it looks cool'

Me: 'WTF?'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO STEVEN!! 9 YEARS OLD TODAY.

After effects...

of home improvements are...soreness, tired, full of paint, breathing problems, messy house, delivery food, lots of beer, headaches, calluses, paint fumes, and nightmares of not finding anything at Lowe's.

Home Improvements

According to my lovely fiance...one of the most stressful things for a couple to go through is home improvements. This weekend we tackled the boys room.* The previous owners painted it blue...and not sky blue but freaking blue. I wish I would have taken a picture of it...I think I have one but oh well. This is as close to it as I can get. Anyhow, I came up with the idea of "Hey, lets paint the boys room, rip up the rug and put flooring and lets do it this weekend." Kris agreed surprisingly and we got too it. The first task was to move all the stuff out of the room. DAMN!! The boys don't stay with us much now but they sure have a lot of freaking stuff. So much stuff it took over the living room and family room. Once it was all out...we ripped off the rug. Which was totally cool because I've never done such stuff before. I mean I've put up shelves and fixed draws but that about it. The funny thing is that Kris trusted me to use a box cutter for the rug and not myself. For a second I started cutting the rug from the top. I got smart 5 minutes after I started...turning the rug over and cutting it. I love destruction. It wasn't as dusty as I thought...not too bad. The rug ripping went pretty fast. Then it was figuring out that the flooring would be best to buy at Costco. We have gotten all gun hoe and are planning on doing three rooms in the house. Lets see. Anyhow Kris bought enough for the kids room and I bought the paint and stuff. Kris tackled the blue with his paint sprayer...the primer was gray and basically all night we were thinking it needed more primer because the blue kept creeping through. But the next morning we noticed that it was pretty covered...and we were off to Lowe's for more stuff. The ceiling was the toughest part because I wanted it brilliant white. He started off painting it...but I took that pressure off of him. LOL. The painting went pretty good. And I must say that I taped up the room pretty good. I would post a picture but I didn't take any. I picked a strawberry malt with some other sort of brown. Kris says it was pink...but it dried tan. I can't wait to do the trim and door in the high gloss enamel. The room is going to look awesome. I guess home improvements aren't going to make or break us...so one less thing to tackle.

*yes the hoiday weekend, no BBQ for us.

state workers and 1 engineer...

A while back...several weeks ago...we met Haze and Bruce at the Drop Bar in Green Valley. I was full of dinner because we ate at Metro Pizza...YUM! I had soup and some sorta pizza that I don't recall but I'm sure Kris has the receipt some where if you really wanna know what I ate. Anyhow, Haze called up to see what we were up to...since not much was going on we planned on hanging out. They were going to hit the Cheesecake Factory at the District...and we had just started our dinner, so no problem. A couple of minutes later she called to tell me that the CF was "way crowded" and that they were just going "straight to the bar" so cool.

Anyhow, we get there...pretty dang early I should say (around 9pm) but it's okay because actually plenty of room and seats to chose from. Besides the fact that we are starting to get old and decrepit. The bar is cool. I've never been there so Imma all excited about the TV's in the corner. Which I should have taken a pictures of...but oh well. Stupid me to tell Kris that I'd pay for drinks since he had paid for dinner...lol. He's lucky. Anyhow, the waitress is a foreigner with a heavy accent...I'm sure Kris had a hard time decoding what the lady said over the loud music. I open a tab and order my usually of Sex on the Beach, forgetting that my new like is an Alabama Slammer. So YAY for Bruce at this time he had just gotten the all great State job...but at the time he still wasn't sure what it was. He got the name though. I'm sure now he has a clearer concept....yeah right!! Haze has some strawberry thing (martini I think) Bruce drinks all different stuff so I don't really keep track, and the ever designated driver orders a beer. Which makes him do anything I say and listen when I say to so something sexy. As you can see in the picture he listens very well, don't he? In the meantime...We are all checking out the videos playing on the very cool flat screens...NOT! Some scary shit plays...and some very old school music pops on...HEE!! Which starts off the conversation of 'rad' 'awesome' 'sweeeet' 'groovy' 'neato' and 'cool beans.' Bruce is all like "Hey those were cool when I was young." The funky waitress comes back in her white skin tight outfit...which Kris is far to interested in.* Not that I'm the jealous type...but dang. LMAO. Anyhow, Bruce and the skinny minnie waitress get into a conversation over orange flavored vodka and Red Bull...It was all really confusing and stuff but he manages to get some sort of drink...then after all the crazy conversation...the silence. I decide to whip out my camera and test it out in the low light...which, by the pictures, they come out pretty good. Best present EVER!! Well, tied with my new foot spa. Anyhow...I decide to ask Haze on to strike a sexy pose and she does this..DANG GIRL! I should start drinking those strawberry things!! LOL. But I finally remembered to order my Alabama Slammer...I think the waitress got it right because I was sweating my ass off in that place. By the end of the night, which is about 11:00pm...GOD that is pathetic!!...We start to tire of the loud 80's music and the crowd. And we head home looking gracious and lovely as ever. Rosy cheeks full of blood and liquor. Thank goodness my honey was driving!! Because everything by then was looking mostly like this...

*mockingly so

UPDATE!

The Closet Monsters did not take my Capri pants. The pants were actually in my backpack when I stayed at mom's house...lol. MY BAD! So, I apologize to the Closet Monsters!! Well, I will, as soon as they return my red shirt, damn it!!

Foot Spa & Epsom Salt!!

Yes, my honey bought me the most awesome foot spa...like ever!! I've never had one so Imma gonna use it soon!! It came with the fake sea grass to massage my feet with and several little attachments for a foot thingy...I forget what it's called. And it has this gel filled cushion to rest my foot on for when I decide it's time to paint my toe nails. And it makes bubbles and keeps the water warm. WOOHOO! You know you want one. I know you all are jealous!!*

The funny thing is that he also bought some Epsom Salt to go with it. After both of us reading the directions for the spa, we decided it best not to use the salt since it didn't mention anything about it. Then I decided I should read the Epsom directions that are on the carton. Did you know that Epsom Salt is eatable? Something about mixing it with water (and lemon to make it taste good)** and drinking it to stop stomach irritation...or whatever. I can't really recall because I was in shock when Kris decided he wanted to taste the salt crystals...which isn't really salt. I mean, how bad can it be, right? I told him to go ahead and try it...lol. I wish I could tell you that it went okay, but...he made this face of horror and had to rinse out his mouth. It was so funny, I had to try it too, like a dumb ass. It tasted like metal...duh...

NOTE TO SELF: Don't eat the magnesium sulfate without the lemon and water.

*example of Yoda speech.
**foreshadowing

Ex-boyfriends...haunt you

Men, they always try to come back. Why? Apparently being a bitch attracts men. Please, for goodness sake, lose my number!! Life is currently solidified for me and will be even more pretty soon. Get a life!! Honestly, it must be something in my WTF voice that keeps them calling? Dude, stop jerking off to my pic...it's creepy and crawly and totally disgusting. And no, I don't wanna talk, see, or hear it either. Anyone else have this stupid issue? I feel so blessed...NOT!* Mom always has said "kill'em with kindness." Maybe she's right? I really don't want to be responsible for a death...

Honestly, it's actually comic.** I find strange things entertaining.

*I'm old school...get over it!
** OMG, I sound like my honey.

My biggest pet peeve is...

Hypocrisy: the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion. Hypocrite: one who affects virtues or qualities he does not have.

Not that I am perfect, God knows that I'm not, but I have a tendency to stick with 'what you see is what you get.' I have told a lie here and there throughout my life...who hasn't? But to claim to be someone you aren't isn't my style.

I tire, quickly...

AAAHHHH!!! Closet Monsters!

Close your closet doors at night boys and girls!! The Closet Monsters are at it again. No, seriously, I'm not kidding. They come out at night from your closet and during the day they feed on your clothes and like moths burrowing holes in them. How do I know they exist? Well just ask my one time worn shirt and how the heck it got a hole in it the size of Mars!?! Closet Monsters I say! Creepy scary things lurk in the closet. Things, creatures that steal your red shirts and disappear your tan capri pants. They must have a pact with the Goodwill or something. And the hangers? What do they do with the hangers? They overlap the hangers in the closet and stick them inside each other so that when you want one shirt you get 3 and 4 fall on the floor. And one of them...because there are several kinds of Closet Monsters...comes in and makes a shoelace longer than the other one. One night all the sweaters on the top shelf looked like the Tower of Pisa. Apparently they are artistic suckers.

Now, I know you don't belive me, but they are there...lurking...in the closet.

Just ask the Clothes Dryer Sock Eater Monster.*

*but we named him Ralph

Work & Pranks

Yesterday I asked Lyvonne if we could play a prank on poor Evelyn. She's been using State envelops to leave me money for the chocolate fundraiser from school and I thought it would be pretty good prank for her to receive a letter from the HR dept re: State property for personal use. Apparently Lyvonne didn't think it was drastic enough so we came up with transferring two cubicles. Now, you must know that Evelyn shares an office with Lisa...and the rest of us have cubes. At approximately 4:04 pm,* we decided to switch Michelene's stuff with Evelyn's. Michelene was all up for it and we all pitched in.

This morning Evelyn comes in and turns gray over the fact that she was moved out into the pee-on's area. She almost strokes over it and so we had to let her in on the joke too soon in my opinion.

Ok, ok...it isn't that funny but still notable.

*after state time for me

Retrojunk

No, really...what I said. Retrojunk: http://www.retrojunk.com/

OMG. I love this thing. LOOK...the Thundercat guy!! I'm in retro heaven. WOOHOO!!

You're Mexican, right?

Now, don't get me wrong...I don't have anything against my fellow Hispanics, really I don't, but I'm just not Mexican. Actually, if you were to ask me my ethnicity I would say Cuban and Puerto Rican. Cuban for my father, PR for my mother. However, at 21 I found out that my parents adopted me and so I'm 100% PR. I know, I know...it's getting confusing but no one said reading this and understanding me was going to be easy.* So some might say...OMG you are just American. Yeah, sure I live here but most Hispanics would say their country of origin rather than the country they are living in. It's this whole big entire mystery thing...you have to be Latin to understand it. Where was I? Oh, yeah....Well, we've just established the fact that I'm 100% blood PR, right? I was raised by my PR mother, my Cuban father, Cuban grandmother, and my Cuban aunt. You know were this is headed right? I consider myself more Cuban than anything...lol. Which is a trip because it confuses me sometimes too. So I kinda speak Cuban dialect, cook more Cuban food...etc. You get my point.

Most don't know that Spanish was my first language...It can be frustrating at times...I say things backwards** or forget the English word. I guess crossword puzzles are like Cliffs Notes of the English language. But this should be a whole post by itself.

Either way...I still like Mexican food too.

*Ask Kris.
**Which we have named Yoda speech

Mood Week...

Kris's favorite week of the month. Seriously it is, honestly it isn't. I don't recall my mood week being so harsh before the birth control patch.* Anyhow, I don't think it's really all that bad. Or maybe it is bad especially when I can tell my moods switching from left to right and up and down. Besides the fact that I'm an emotional person already...rocky emotions is not what I need.

Recently I've tried to control them with no avail. The emotions take over like some strange evil spirit has control over me. Like the woman on Heroes with her evil sister Jessica...anyhow I'm getting off the subject. One of the worst things is that I end up laughing and crying at the same time. It happens more in the evenings than during the day. Poor Kris, he usually doesn't know what to do when this happens. It's nice when he hugs me during my laugh/cry fit...makes him laugh too. I guess I would be like WTF? too.

PMS=putting up with men's shit. LOL. What if you don't have a man? Who do you blame it on then?

*I can't wait to take it off.

IT

IT...no silly persons, IT as in the book IT, by Stephen King.

Have you read it? I did. Once. That's all I needed. It was scary as hell!! Assuming that I know what hell is like...lol. Anyhow, it has this nasty, ugly, vicious, clown...yup, clown.

You would think that clowns are cute, funny, entertaining and the like but you see that's their cover...they make you think they are cute, funny, nice when they say a joke or hand you some balloons. Let me tell you they are far from that. These sinister clowns have a mission. A mission to destroy all that you think is normal. They dress up in these hiddious costumes and make ugly mared faces. They attempt to grab at children all in the attempts of fun.

Once I was tortured by one. Well not really tortured. He pulled me into a gangbang of clowns and made me participate in there show (if you call it a show). Laughing in my face and trying to make me do all the idiotic acts they pull. I didn't think it was funny and screaming at the top of my lungs to no end was enough that they let me go back to my seat. Now I have this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coulrophobia

YUP...Coulrophobia. Fear of clowns. Now as an adult, it really sucks. I was standing in line to see a show when the stupid clown decided to pick on me. Why? Fuck do I know...I was just standing there. He said...'you don't like clowns?' and I said 'no, I don't, please leave.' Of course he didn't and I had to get Latin on his ass. Then he left me alone.

It's like I have a sign on my head...I DON'T LIKE CLOWNS PICK ME!! WTF?

I feel like stepping on there big shoes, punching them in the red plastic nose, and pulling off there rainbow hair.* But...I LIKE THE CIRCUS. go figure.

*I did that to my ex-husband when he thought it would be funny to scare the shit out of me and dressed up like a clown.

Tribute to Dad

8/19/02

Dad: I know you are scared.
Me: Yes, very...what will happen? This is terminal. We have little time.
Dad: I will be strong. You need to be strong.
Me: What if I can't be?
Dad: For me you will. Promise that you will be the only one not to cry for me when I die, Sandra, promise me this one thing.
Me: That is a lot to ask Dad, that is so much to ask of me.

Pause

Me: I promise, I promise not to cry Dad.
Dad: Thank you, I'll always love you and those boys.
Me: I'll always love you too, and I will keep you alive for them.
Dad: Thank you.

Typical day at work

Haze: Dang agencies suck, dude.

Me: What'd they do now, dude?

Haze: Sent the billing in wrong, dude.

Me: Yeah, I hear you. It sucks, man.

PAUSE

Me: Llama song day, dude?

Haze: Yeah, LLAMA, dude!

Me: Hold on I gotta load it....

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

Haze: HEE LLAMA!

RULES!!

I was thinking about what to write today and I was bombarded by my brain with different thoughts, which usually happen on a daily basis...so be aware that I may post several times a day if I can depending on what I'm doing at the moment. The more realistic is to explain some rules about my new found hobby...lol. Kris said I needed a hobby and since I like to talk this is a good one for now. I have a habit of going on tangents...anyone who knows me well knows that.

Anyhow, RULES...Rules would be good because they will help you (the reader) understand me and how my blog will work. They won't be many because I am not one to form rules...they kinda happen as life goes on. So you may see another post RULES1 (yes RULES1 not RULES2 because that's just me). So here they are:

1. No discussing my blog outside of the blog. If you see something wrong, offensive, and totally bad...please just comment or send me a private email.

2. There will be time when I curse. If you are offended by my usage of words and still want to read please jump over them. If you decide not to read it then don't.

3. The * will mean 'side story'...not a spelling mistake. All * 'side stories' will be placed at the bottom of the posts as references.

4. If you decide to leave a comment, please remember that others will be reading them and be mindful of others. Watch what you say. (that's the social worker in me).

5. Abbreviations will probably be use: LOL, OMG, WTF, JK, etc...If you aren't used to them...please don't ask me what it means you can look them up here: http://techdictionary.com/chat.html.

6. Do not get offended if I do not answer your comments or emails right away. This blog is for me not you.

Okay, that's about it. It's pretty clear right? Any questions?

HA!

I think I got the hang of this blog thing now. Took me all but most of the day. I'm a pretty fast learner, especially when I had to list all my links again when I didn't save it. They should have an automatic save just for people like me. Of course, I won't really link all the sites that I like on here because...man, it's too many of them. But those are some of my favorites to visit daily.

Anyone watching Idol tonight? Imma going for Melinda or Jordan. Why'd Jordan sing that same song again? Strange. Blake I don't mind, really I don't, but don't we all have enough white boys around?

I'm working on it

Give me a break...I'm used to pen and paper. Actually I started this thing because I think it might help me reduce all the stress I have. Which isn't really stress...because I'm not a stressful person...but for lack of a better word at this moment, stress it is.

ps. I like lotsm ellipsis.